Vacay Jokesters Gifts

Excess Baggage: Cruise passengers can come up with some pretty amazing questions.

Airport Security.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked."

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

'Are we broke yet?'

Swearing and fighting in a caravan

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

"People are way too casual when they fly these days."

Easter Island.

Dad helping to build sand castle while tent remains un-erected.

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

Customs caution: rabid tarantulas with AIDS inside

'Public beach. Thong bikinis strictly prohibited. No butts about it.'

'Old fart and the sea'

'That's no oil slick Johnson.' - During whale flu season.

Excess Baggage: Never let your wife pack for your business trip while she is mad at you.

Lav-Mummie

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

"Attention. This is your captain screaming!"

"Apparently our hotel is just a stone's throw from the beach..!"

"O.K., who's the designated whiner?"

Sydney Airport - passengers called Barry, Sheila and Skippy.

"Did you leave your bag unattended or trade your cow for magic beans?"

My parents visited Turin and all I got was this lousy shroud.

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

Santa Claus