Vacay Jokesters Gifts

Excess Baggage: Cruise passengers can come up with some pretty amazing questions.

Airport Security.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked."

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Swearing and fighting in a caravan

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

'Are we broke yet?'

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

Easter Island.

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

"People are way too casual when they fly these days."

Lost My Ability To Ruin Picnics. Please Help.

Dad helping to build sand castle while tent remains un-erected.

Customs caution: rabid tarantulas with AIDS inside

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

Lav-Mummie

'Public beach. Thong bikinis strictly prohibited. No butts about it.'

"Apparently our hotel is just a stone's throw from the beach..!"

'That's no oil slick Johnson.' - During whale flu season.

Excess Baggage: Never let your wife pack for your business trip while she is mad at you.

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

"Attention. This is your captain screaming!"

'Old fart and the sea'

"O.K., who's the designated whiner?"

Sydney Airport - passengers called Barry, Sheila and Skippy.

"Did you leave your bag unattended or trade your cow for magic beans?"

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

A glass bottom boat.