Vacation Comedian Gifts

Schematic Map of Seaside Heights Town Beach, Summer, 2007

"Ahhh... close enough."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Brighton Bersagliere.

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

"I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked."

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

'Does the hunter I just ate make me look fat?'

Excess Baggage: If your vacation plans include 'Getting Back to Nature' be careful what you wish for.

'I think its being tapped.'

'A beaver wearing a mountie hat riding a moose! Still think we haven't crossed into Canada?'

"The next time you have an 'emergency', have it on the roof like every other self-respecting bird!"

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

Swearing and fighting in a caravan

"My wife is always on to me about eating more vegetarians."

'Are we broke yet?'

"Drat!. . . We've run out of ice..."

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

The biggest fish.

'Your turn to go for water. . .'

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

Easter Island.

Dad helping to build sand castle while tent remains un-erected.

'Aren't you supposed to drop the clam on the rock?'

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

"I get it...you went south for the winter. Now, don't you think it's time to ditch the shirt?"

'Okay,okay, I'll go in first and check for bugs!'

'Public beach. Thong bikinis strictly prohibited. No butts about it.'

'Old fart and the sea'