Urban Life Satirist Gifts

More Useful Doomsayers

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Hoodie Hang-out

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"Thank god we're out of the city."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Snowman Driver

'I thought you said, 'What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom'!'

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

Suburban street.

This is where Brent council sends you

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

How much for the lamp post?

"I've got to admit I'm not crazy about the freeway."

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

Autumn Leaves

Traffic Lights Medicine

'I'm just updating my Facebook profile.'

"Jeremy sits in his hi-tech car all day and telecommutes from our driveway."

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

Lex Ave Express

This is our proposal for your new housing development. We've chosen to call it The Meadows.

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

'What's the antidote for espresso?'

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

"No need to set out traps, I'm leaving. You don't have Wi-Fi in this dump."

'This IS our retirement plan.'

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

",,,These job cuts will not affect patient care...."

"The Bluebird of Happiness is on his way. We're security."