City Life Satirist Gifts

"I'm not Santa, kid-I'm just an overweight hipster with a bag full of dumpster garbage."

"Thank god we're out of the city."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'Do you think there's still a culture of sexism in the city?'

Dept. of Traffic Disruption.

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

This is where Brent council sends you

Hoodie Hang-out

"Food delivery for 2a and 6c. Burglary for 3b."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

Snowman Driver

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Suburban street.

'I thought you said, 'What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom'!'

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

How much for the lamp post?

This site acquired for yet another housing development.

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

Autumn Leaves

Traffic Lights Medicine

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

'I'm just updating my Facebook profile.'

"Jeremy sits in his hi-tech car all day and telecommutes from our driveway."

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

'What's the antidote for espresso?'

This is our proposal for your new housing development. We've chosen to call it The Meadows.

Lex Ave Express

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

"No need to set out traps, I'm leaving. You don't have Wi-Fi in this dump."