City Life Comedian Gifts

Modern Horror Stories: "The Tow-Er of London." No parking. Tow.

"Just a small favour, Perkins. Stop saying 'd'ailleurs'"

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

Hoodie Hang-out

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

From Here You Can See Bugger All

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Thank god we're out of the city."

'Mostly we just block traffic.'

This is where Brent council sends you

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"Yes, Myra, I do still love you. What I don't love, however, is this exit poll every damned morning."

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"How am I rampaging?"

'Hello, security? I'd like to report a giant hairy belly button outside my window.'

Keister Island

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

Would you mind if I hung round your backside for a while?

Manhole Warning

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

'Quit blubbering. This is why I hate taking you shopping.'

An office building made of different sized boxes stacked on top of one another; each box says "This side up" on the side.

"This city is in trouble. It smells better down here."

"My work is to stare into space."

"So we're agreed. You get everything south of 59th. We get the rest. Capice?"

'Do you think there's still a culture of sexism in the city?'

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

The Denouement is Nigh!

Mugger mugging fast food.