Urban Life Humorist Gifts

Kwick Loans Street Vendor

Mugger mugging fast food.

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Hoodie Hang-out

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Peter

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Thank god we're out of the city."

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

This is where Brent council sends you

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

Cars.

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

Rocket charmer.

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

'This IS our retirement plan.'

"Well, Charles, it wasn't a 'pesky little wasp,' it was a hummingbird."

Castle with parking lot.

Manhole Warning

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

Cook complaining to milkman

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"Then I said, let's stay with Santa's sleigh, but nooo ... you wanted to see a Rangers game!"

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."