Urban Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'

Badabing-Boom.

"I hate getting all these Canadian coins, but I guess that's the price of living in Toronto."

"Please! Have a seat!"

"What kind? Whatddaya mean, what kind?"

"Have you dined with us before."

'When do I learn to elude the cops?'

Two water towers, 'HOT, COLD'.

Beggar holding a cup with no bottom...Sign reads 'help me buy a new cup.'

Windshield Wipe

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

'Can I have a dollar to not smash your window?'

Chugger

"Food delivery for 2a and 6c. Burglary for 3b."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

Cars.

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

Cook complaining to milkman

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'