Urban Humor Aficionado Gifts

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

Cars.

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

Cook complaining to milkman

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

Manhole Warning

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

'You can hip, but no hop and cut back from bling bling to just bling.'

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

"So we're agreed. You get everything south of 59th. We get the rest. Capice?"

Chugger

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Gets A Job

'I always thought wine came from half-empty bottles left in the park.'

"Genuine ASBOs for sale."