Urban Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

Poonami

'Thunderbird Reserve? If I had known, I would have worn a fresh garbage bag.'

"Higgins, city council, we want to brighten up the city. From tomorrow on please shave, shrine your shoes and wear a tie."

"It's impossible to get any sleep around here after eight o'clock in the morning!"

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

"I've got to admit I'm not crazy about the freeway."

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

Cars.

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

Messing Up My Metrics

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

Cook complaining to milkman

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

Manhole Warning

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"Genuine ASBOs for sale."

Chugger

',,,I'm pretty sure I just saw your new window washer harassing another female tenant,'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Gets A Job

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

"It gets a lot of refracted light."