Urban Humor Seeker Gifts

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Gets A Job

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

Cars.

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

Antiques roadshow: 'Yes it's definitely Silver'

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

O'Leary's Monuments

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

Cook complaining to milkman

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."

Manhole Warning

Axel, as long as you're going to the kitchen, would you get me a beer? I'm sorry, Lance, but the comic strip code forbids teen wolverines from handling beer

"It's okay mate, I only need the cork from your bottle."

"Genuine ASBOs for sale."

"So we're agreed. You get everything south of 59th. We get the rest. Capice?"

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

Chugger

'Brilliant! I love it! I'll give you ?25,000!'

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.