Urban Humor Fans Gifts

Don't worry�. I'm not a dog, I'm a wolverine. I'm not worried� I'm not a fire hydrant, I'm a parking meter.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Tequila Mockingbird

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Guess who's teething?'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

'Henry, cut that out.'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"What?!"

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

Beer Lunch

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

Under New Mismanagement

Sawrd Fighting

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'Waiter. Tonight, we're pulling out all the stops! Get her the steak special and I'll have the pork chops.'

Pastoral Choirs