Urban Humor Fans Pillows

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Tequila Mockingbird

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Guess who's teething?'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'Henry, cut that out.'

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

Beer Lunch

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"What?!"

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

Under New Mismanagement

Sawrd Fighting

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

Pastoral Choirs

'Look, that peasant is eating something -- the economy's on the move again!'

Psycho-plankton.

"I hate when this happens."