Urban Humor Admirer Pillows

'So I've put out the bin ten minutes early, it's not as if the council will find out.'

Ancient Racing

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Cow's straw

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

On the brink.

Dolphin friendly tuna

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

Gym Dog

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

Pea

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

St Bernard delivering teddy to avalanche victim

"They don't look like an endangered species."

"Your right.. It is waving back at us."

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

'I can't draw', Permanent Market on Canvas $10,975 - SOLD.

"That's Doctor Good Boy to you."

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

So? You snort when you laugh, too.

"I retired from avalanche rescue. I still want to help people, so now I come to your home and provide tech support."

"Sometimes I wonder if it was worth all the trouble you went through to get yourself cloned."

Puppy and Elephant Selfie

"Very good, everyone. . . except I head that scream again. Ok, let's try it again from the top."