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'So I've put out the bin ten minutes early, it's not as if the council will find out.'

Ancient Racing

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

Cow's straw

Dolphin friendly tuna

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

On the brink.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Gym Dog

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

Pea

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

St Bernard delivering teddy to avalanche victim

"They don't look like an endangered species."

"Your right.. It is waving back at us."

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

'I see people laughing at you.'

'I can't draw', Permanent Market on Canvas $10,975 - SOLD.

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

"That's Doctor Good Boy to you."

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

Puppy and Elephant Selfie