Urban Humor Fan Pillows

Starbucks

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

Ice cream van says 'STOP ME and buy one!' ? kid pulls gun and says: 'One 99 and a raspberry ripple Cornetto, please.'

"Genuine ASBOs for sale."

Cars.

We are a criminal-friendly community.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

"Fish finder."

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

The bird feeder.

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'