City Humor Aficionado Pillows

'I'd like to send this to Cleveland.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

Cars.

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

Woman has man in shopping trolley

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

Cook complaining to milkman

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

'I always thought wine came from half-empty bottles left in the park.'

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

"So we're agreed. You get everything south of 59th. We get the rest. Capice?"

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

"Genuine ASBOs for sale."

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

Chugger