Street Humor Aficionado Pillows

'I always thought wine came from half-empty bottles left in the park.'

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

'Nothing much happened in the Middle East today.... Ha! -- Just kidding.'

"The world isn't ready for a book like this. How would you feel about publishing it posthumously?"

A street salesman selling winkles.

"Goddam Dogs."

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'

Doomsdayer waves sign saying 'The world isn't going to end, it's just going to suck'.

"Somehow these awards are seeming less special."

"I believe they're a debt collection agency."

'Your experience is nil, qualifications lacking, references horrible, and you fulfill MY need for job security perfectly...YOU'RE HIRED!'

"Sorry mate, I'm just off home, but there's an all night dealer down the road."

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

If injury lawyers said what they really mean.

Chugger

"This parking space ain’t big enough for the two of us."

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'

'Well you should be able to see other countries around Britain...there's nothing wrong with the equipment.'

'Our accounting errors were due to the fact that we didn't have duplicate copies.'

Walk/Don't Walk/Laugh

"Scary babies"

Two water towers, 'HOT, COLD'.

'When do I learn to elude the cops?'

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