City Humor Aficionado Gifts

'I'd like to send this to Cleveland.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

Cars.

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'

Cook complaining to milkman

Woman has man in shopping trolley

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

"Genuine ASBOs for sale."

'I always thought wine came from half-empty bottles left in the park.'

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

"So we're agreed. You get everything south of 59th. We get the rest. Capice?"

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

Chugger

"It gets a lot of refracted light."