Urban Humor Gifts

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"I've got to admit I'm not crazy about the freeway."

Cars.

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

Messing Up My Metrics

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

Cook complaining to milkman

Manhole Warning

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

Chugger

"So we're agreed. You get everything south of 59th. We get the rest. Capice?"

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

"Genuine ASBOs for sale."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Gets A Job

',,,I'm pretty sure I just saw your new window washer harassing another female tenant,'

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'

'It's Darwin's only chance to practice when he's in the city.'

'When do I learn to elude the cops?'