Urban Humor Seeker T-Shirts

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

Cars.

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

Antiques roadshow: 'Yes it's definitely Silver'

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

Manhole Warning

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

O'Leary's Monuments

Cook complaining to milkman

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."

"Genuine ASBOs for sale."

"It's okay mate, I only need the cork from your bottle."

"So we're agreed. You get everything south of 59th. We get the rest. Capice?"

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

Chugger

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

'Brilliant! I love it! I'll give you ?25,000!'

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'