Suburban Life Humorist Gifts

"It appears Tom's cable is out again!"

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

Hoodie Hang-out

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Superman flies Batman over a suburban neighborhood.

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Thank god we're out of the city."

Beware of the Lawn

Suburban street.

This is where Brent council sends you

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

Autumn Leaves

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"It's been a rainy winter."

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

Rocket charmer.

Robinia Floribunda

'My therapist suggested I redirect my anger into landscaping and gardening!'

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

'This IS our retirement plan.'

Castle with parking lot.

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."