Suburban Satirist Gifts

Autumn Leaves

'Well, that's just great...zombies! There goes the neighbourhood!'

"It's the old story. East Hampton isn't big enough for both of them."

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

Titian's Venus of Mamaroneck

"It's a little bit cramped, but you can't beat it for security."

All-Christopher Neighborhood, Westport, CT, 1988

"Don't answer—it's those pickleballers again."

Suburban Gang Signs

'It's my first dog house with indoor plumbing.'

'I see the Hendersons have got their own nuclear deterrent now.'

(Used to be) END.

"I'm home dear! So what have you been doing today?"

Last wine bar before suburbia

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Superman flies Batman over a suburban neighborhood.

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

Beware of the Lawn

Suburban street.

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

Traffic Lights Medicine

Lex Ave Express

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

"I'm thinking about moving out of the suburbs."

'My therapist suggested I redirect my anger into landscaping and gardening!'

",,,These job cuts will not affect patient care...."

'This IS our retirement plan.'

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

Suburban blues legends

Cops on trains: 'Is that a truncheon, or are you just pleased to see me?'