Urban Living Humorists Gifts

',,,I'm pretty sure I just saw your new window washer harassing another female tenant,'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Turtle Trailer Court

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Complaints at the Beehive Condo

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

Robinia Floribunda

"It's been a rainy winter."

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

Cook complaining to milkman

"Well, Charles, it wasn't a 'pesky little wasp,' it was a hummingbird."

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

Manhole Warning

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

Chugger

Where did birds rest before utility wires?