City Life Commentators Gifts

"How am I rampaging?"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Hoodie Hang-out

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

Demonic Repossession.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

From Here You Can See Bugger All

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

Our Troubled Chowders

Back to Normal

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

'Mostly we just block traffic.'

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."

"Well done, doctor. I've never seen a phone removed from a hand so skillfully before."

'Hello, security? I'd like to report a giant hairy belly button outside my window.'

'Everyone's depressed after income tax week, Cathy.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"Would you like to take your old face?"

"I was a childless cat lady till someone ate my cat."

"After years of unsuccessfully trying to catch my tail, I decided to just follow it on twitter."