City Vs. Country Life Commentator Gifts

"Is America's heartland what people in flyover states call home?"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

From Here You Can See Bugger All

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

How it started: How it's going

Back to Normal

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

"Yeah, work is tough, but nothing compared to coming home and stepping on one of the kids' legos."

Renaissance Zone

'Hello, security? I'd like to report a giant hairy belly button outside my window.'

"How am I rampaging?"

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

Would you mind if I hung round your backside for a while?

"Oh no Henry - Not Another one of your proclamations!"

Perplexed Farmer

"I was a childless cat lady till someone ate my cat."

'The cows are out and are not expected back.'

'How do you figure?'

"If you'd wanted me to be successful you should have set a better example."

An office building made of different sized boxes stacked on top of one another; each box says "This side up" on the side.

"This city is in trouble. It smells better down here."

Look for Office Friendly and Go the Other Way

Dog with enormous stick.

"Note to selves...see therapist about multiple personality disorder."

"Rough neighborhood."

"Thank you for choosing the panhandler at the corner of Third and Elm, sir."

"No, he hasn't lost weight. It's the size he expects to be in next year."

Two lonely single people in the same building but unaware of each other