City Vs. Country Life Fan Gifts

"I'm SICK of townies thinking they can let their animals run amok across my land chasing sheep..."

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

"Black or white, Vicar?"

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

French wine

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"Well, that one got away."

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"They’re real."

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

Picks your own strawberries....Strangle your own turkeys

Playing pig

'He's fine, it's only man flu not swine flu.'

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

The pig that had a glimpse of the afterlife.

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Farmers' Warnings.

1,572 Performances.

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

Cow and Milk

Milkin' Impossible

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'Hang on a minute...'

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.