Rural Lifestyle Fan Gifts

'Don't tell me... you're from Nevada, right?'

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Lamb Noise.

"They’re real."

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Last Chance for Everything.

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

Mummy?!

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

A cow on a drip.

"I like friut flies!"

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

"I can't afford to feed you."

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"