Rural Life Aficionados Gifts

"Time change or no time change, I'm gonna crow when I crow."

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Lamb Noise.

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"They’re real."

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"Static cling."

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

Twitter that!

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

Mummy?!

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"I like friut flies!"

A cow on a drip.

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

Hey there! I thought you guys were extinct!

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"I can't afford to feed you."

I've been doing sit-ups!