Rural Lifestyle Aficionados Gifts

"Am I really that fat?"

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

Please Drove Carefully.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Lamb Noise.

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

Mummy?!

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

A cow on a drip.

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

"I like friut flies!"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Hey there! I thought you guys were extinct!

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

"I can't afford to feed you."

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

I've been doing sit-ups!

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.