Rural Lifestyle Enthusiast Gifts

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

BAAYE!

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

Please Drove Carefully.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Lamb Noise.

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

Twitter that!

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Mummy?!

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

A cow on a drip.

"I like friut flies!"

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

"I can't afford to feed you."

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'