Rural Living Enthusiast Gifts

Farmer complaining about his repair bill.

Two farmers discussing a sheep-dog on the loose.

Two Scottish men having a short conversation

I'm not sure what's worse, that cows have moved up the food chain, or that Eddie was wearing my boots!

'They reckon most accidents occur at home...'

'Locusts?'

Please Drove Carefully.

Lamb Noise.

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Mummy?!

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

A cow on a drip.

"I like friut flies!"

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

"I can't afford to feed you."

I've been doing sit-ups!

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'