Rural Enthusiast Gifts

'Yes, it's a six hour commute, but where else could we have this standard of living?'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'Great. You found my septic tank.'

I've been doing sit-ups!

Farm Shop - "I'd like a place in Wiltshire with about 200 acres."

Running man

"We must be in the Village."

Farm Business.

Twitter that!

'Rural communities' beating 'Cities' in competition for 'Manufacturing business'

'Call me hormonal, but why do I get this sense of impending doom?'

'Boy, Mommie, I'm sure glad you're not a working mother.'

'She's a'gainin' on you, Doc!'

'That's the sign of a good painting!'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Out of Town Theme Pub next to Rural Pub

"I've only travelled the ten miles to town once in my life - then my horse died!"

'You're relieved sir!' - 'Thank you soldier, see you New Years!'

"Here's the deal folks. You work my land and pay for all operating expenses. I'll kick you out pennyless when foreign investors pay me BIG TIME for it."

Central Valley Express

"Did you lock all the doors?" "Relax, we live in Vermont." "Later that night..." "Tell me where the honey is and nobody gets hurt."

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

"Do you ever miss New York?"

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

"It seemed like miles to me!"

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Amusement Park Fun (Country Style).

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"