Rural Admirer Gifts

City sewer rats visit barn mice.

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

"Black or white, Vicar?"

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

Country Bumpkin.

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

French wine

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

Playing pig

"Static cling."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

Twitter that!

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Mummy?!

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

"I like friut flies!"

A cow on a drip.

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'