Rural Living Admirer Gifts

A cow on a drip.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Twitter that!

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

Mummy?!

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

"I like friut flies!"

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

I've been doing sit-ups!

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

Maternity ward on the farm.

'Uh? A female vet?'

'I told her not to follow me!'