Rural Living Appreciators Gifts

Shepherd watching sheep on closed circuit TV

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"They’re real."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Farmers' Warnings.

A boy who loves cows/burgers

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

Milkin' Impossible

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

An English Gold Field

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

"We missed Fashion Week!"

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

Mummy?!

A cow on a drip.

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"I like friut flies!"