Rural Life Appreciator Gifts

Farmers' Market

'Rock beats Scissors!'

A Painter Paints A Landscape Observed By Two Locals.

"Blimey, your ploughmen must be well payed."

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

Sheep baggage

'Listen, McDonald, either knock off the E-I-E-I-O, or I call the sheriff!'

Horse lit up by electric fence. Title: 'Hot Lunch on the Ponderosa'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

Village of the darned,

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Grazing

Please Drove Carefully.

Lamb Noise.

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Mummy?!

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

A cow on a drip.

"I like friut flies!"

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

"I can't afford to feed you."