Ranch Life Appreciator Gifts

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

Please Drove Carefully.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

Waking Up With Rooster.

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Mummy?!

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"I like friut flies!"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Croc feed machine contains chickens for feeding crocodiles at croc farm.

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

'That's about as Christmasy as we can get it.'

'Uh? A female vet?'

Bird Song.