Ranch Life Aficionado Gifts

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

Horse play a version of horseshoe throwing.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"Static cling."

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Dear Farmer Brown - we really don't like you. The Animals.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

Ranch Dressing

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

Slow, Men at Work.

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

Cowboy Slippers

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'