Ranch Life Aficionado Gifts

Horse play a version of horseshoe throwing.

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"Static cling."

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

Dear Farmer Brown - we really don't like you. The Animals.

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Ranch Dressing

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

Cowboy Slippers

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

Slow, Men at Work.

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

"Sweet! He upgraded with a cup holder!"