Ranch Life Enthusiast Gifts

"Still getting migraines?"

"Sorry, but they call themselves cowboys: so they must love us more than they love their horses..."

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

"You gelded my cows?!"

Cow caught on barbed wire.

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

Ranch Dressing

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

I've been doing sit-ups!

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

Slow, Men at Work.

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

Cowboy Slippers

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."