Ranch Life Explorer Gifts

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'Did you say that before you were a milker you used to work for McWit's Garage?'

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

'Trickle or Spray!?'

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"The Taco is good on the trail but where do I put the drink?"

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

Dogs and Chickens

"And when someone gets your goat, what do you suppose it is that keeps you from going and getting it back?"

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Jasper's Limo Service.

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'He's so clever he's learning a second language!'

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Sheep.

Slow, Men at Work.

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

Cowboy Slippers

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

"Sweet! He upgraded with a cup holder!"

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

over crowded car.