Ranch Life Explorer Mugs

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'Did you say that before you were a milker you used to work for McWit's Garage?'

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

'Trickle or Spray!?'

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"The Taco is good on the trail but where do I put the drink?"

Playing pig

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Dogs and Chickens

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"And when someone gets your goat, what do you suppose it is that keeps you from going and getting it back?"

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Jasper's Limo Service.

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'He's so clever he's learning a second language!'

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Sheep.

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

Slow, Men at Work.

Cowboy Slippers

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'