Rural Life Aficionado Gifts

"Get ready...set...ruminate!"

"I still use horses to plow my fields."

"It's a trap!"

"Static cling."

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

Dingleberry Farms

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Lamb Noise.

"They’re real."

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Leadership training.'

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

Twitter that!

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Mummy?!

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Dear Farmer Brown - we really don't like you. The Animals.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

A cow on a drip.

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"I like friut flies!"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.