Rural Aficionado Gifts

Barn

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

Country Bumpkin.

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

Pull the udder one

"Static cling."

Get on with it!

'Leadership training.'

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Can he come out and play?'

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

Twitter that!

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

I've located your problem, luv!

Mummy?!

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

Rattlecornsnake

Dear Farmer Brown - we really don't like you. The Animals.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

A cow on a drip.

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

"I like friut flies!"

GLOO!

Scotsman Playing Cow Bagpipes.