Rural Aficionado Pillows

Barn

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Please Drove Carefully.

Country Bumpkin.

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

Get on with it!

Pull the udder one

"Static cling."

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Can he come out and play?'

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

I've located your problem, luv!

Mummy?!

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

Rattlecornsnake

Dear Farmer Brown - we really don't like you. The Animals.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

A cow on a drip.

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"I like friut flies!"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

It MUST be Valentines Day!