Rural Admirer Pillows

City sewer rats visit barn mice.

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

"Black or white, Vicar?"

Please Drove Carefully.

Country Bumpkin.

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

French wine

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

Mummy?!

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"I like friut flies!"

A cow on a drip.

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.