Rural Charm Admirer Pillows

Pastoral: Sung in a simple and idyllic style.

Please Drove Carefully.

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"Static cling."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

Mummy?!

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

The Cattle show Week.

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"I like friut flies!"

A cow on a drip.

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

I've been doing sit-ups!

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

'Uh? A female vet?'

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

'I told her not to follow me!'

I would ask you to cease and desist from sitting on my burrow!

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

Early American Think tank

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.