Rural Charm Admirer Pillows

Pastoral: Sung in a simple and idyllic style.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

'Leadership training.'

Twitter that!

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

Mummy?!

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

The Cattle show Week.

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

"I like friut flies!"

A cow on a drip.

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

I've been doing sit-ups!

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

Early American Think tank

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

'I told her not to follow me!'

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

'Uh? A female vet?'

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'