Countryside Aficionado Gifts

A farmer and his workers

Get on with it!

"The third wedding anniversary gift is leather. You have any size 18 cows for sale?"

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

Farmer and FIsherman

"Static cling."

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

"You're famous, Angus."

"Relax. They're just crows."

About time!

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

An English Gold Field

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

FREE-RANGE CIRCUIT TRAINING

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

Dear Farmer Brown - we really don't like you. The Animals.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'The one that really gets them is a quick jab from the floor, straight back and out.'

'Now, just repeat the injections three times daily and avoid any stress.'

"I'm sorry, Marvin. I can only spend so much time off the grid."

This is probably the only time that Clem's name and the title 'Ph.D' will be used in the same sentence.

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

Too posh for Alderley Edge!

I've been doing sit-ups!

Fancy Wallpaper in a Cell

"So there you are—I thought I heard someone squishing moodily about the moors."

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."