Country Escapades Aficionado Gifts

A metal detector deafening its operator.

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Amusement Park Fun (Country Style).

"It seemed like miles to me!"

Farmer and FIsherman

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

Get on with it!

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

"You're famous, Angus."

"Relax. They're just crows."

About time!

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

An English Gold Field

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

FREE-RANGE CIRCUIT TRAINING

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

Dear Farmer Brown - we really don't like you. The Animals.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'The one that really gets them is a quick jab from the floor, straight back and out.'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

'Now, just repeat the injections three times daily and avoid any stress.'

Hey there! I thought you guys were extinct!

This is probably the only time that Clem's name and the title 'Ph.D' will be used in the same sentence.

"What if we don't like their country personas?"

'Ma, come see what just crawled out of the woodpile.'

"Sorry for the racket, but, I ask you, how are ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen 6-B?"

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

Pastoral Choirs

Deer Smells Budweiser.