Rural Enthusiasts Gifts

You Are Nowhere.

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.

"The middle of nowhere was too dead for us, so we moved her to the outskirts of nowhere where there's a lot more going on!"

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

Amusement Park Fun (Country Style).

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Twitter that!

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Mummy?!

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

A bit of Newlyn.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

A cow on a drip.

"I like friut flies!"

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

I've been doing sit-ups!

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'