Rural Enthusiasts Gifts

You Are Nowhere.

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

Please Drove Carefully.

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

Mummy?!

A bit of Newlyn.

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

"I like friut flies!"

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

A cow on a drip.

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

I've been doing sit-ups!

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

'I told her not to follow me!'

'Uh? A female vet?'

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."