Rural Life Enthusiasts Gifts

'Well, I've heard that you are a genius at replacing prolapses, Doc.'

"Looks like grain prices are up."

The Farmer's Return.

'I don't NEED a warrant!'

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Lamb Noise.

"They’re real."

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"Static cling."

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Twitter that!

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Mummy?!

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

A cow on a drip.

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"I like friut flies!"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

"I can't afford to feed you."